The school years are over, all the friends scattered everywhere, the problems with exams and preparation for them remain in the past. Only new ones begin to appear on the nose, entering, entrance tests or exams. New places, new faces, new friends, and even new opponents. It’s all up for grabs and making new friends. But what if you fail? What if you end up alone or alone?
First impression and how to make it right
I have to be honest, the feelings of an applicant before the first day of the university are unforgettable. The realization of what lies ahead is breathtaking, because there awaits you:
- An interesting learning process, devoid of any burden.
- Exciting student life outside of college.
- Parties, parties, and even studying for exams together.
- New acquaintances, lifelong friends, and enemies with whom you will compete throughout your studies!
- And love, maybe even for life.
No one thinks about the hard days of studying, cramming at night, and tons of homework. Everyone drives such thoughts away, because who in their right mind would agree to condemn their lives to suffer for the next four or even six years.
But to get all those positive emotions, forgetting about the small unpleasant moments, you need good company. And how to get into it, or even create it? That’s right, make a bright and good first impression! The first task for you is to make friends with your classmates.
If anything, for this it is not necessary to kick down the door of the classroom, scattering five-thousand-dollar bills around the classroom, and then arrange a rap battle with the teacher. Although, the latter can still be arranged…
Why is a first impression so important?
When you were in high school, you and your friends were connected by territorial proximity, you could easily see each other outside of school. College is already consciously chosen, with no territorial attachment. With fellow students, you are likely to find common interests, topics to communicate, and perhaps even views on life.
These are the people you will have to spend four to six years with. It sounds like time for a crime, but it’s not. It is during your student years that the strongest friendships are established, which can last for the rest of your life. It is student comrades who will help you in times of need after you graduate (if you were on good terms, of course). Never rush from the shoulder, keep yourself in control, and do not make trouble on the hothead, there is always time to quarrel with a person, but then you can not rely on his help. And if you quarrel at the very beginning of the study, you can set against yourself part of the group, herd mentality has not been canceled.
And in the end, let’s be frank: everyone wants to have understanding people around you who will be ready to stand up for you, and you for them.
How to overcome the fear of communication
Of course not, we will teach you how to overcome your shyness and closeness. And even if you don’t manage to become the soul of the company, at least you can become an integral part of it.
Tip #1: There are people just like you in the audience with you, newbies who do not yet understand what is going on in general. You all have to learn together: how and where are the pairs, which teacher is nice and pleasant, and who is evil, what are the customs and rituals of the school, its holidays, and so on. You can come to someone and ask: ‘Can you help me to do my homework, please?’ It will show that you’re nice and easy-going person. So don’t try to pretend to be something you’re not. Be yourself and people will reach out to you! This is the only way to establish strong and sincere friendships.
Tip #2: The first day is a little bit of an adjustment for everyone, and that’s okay. No one knows anyone yet, no one has had time to gather in interest groups or life goals. So you have all the cards in your hand to get to know anyone in the audience: the cool guy or the pretty princess. It’s all up to you.
Tip #3: Feel free to start with a clean slate. Were you a lone wolf in high school, not socializing with anyone, but always wanting to change that? This is your best chance! Go to college and forget about your past! mold yourself the way you want to see yourself every morning in the mirror.
Where do I start?
Let’s think together, what is the most popular place for students between classes? Where does everyone who wants to learn new and interesting rumors and gossip flock? Of course, it’s the “smoking place” or “smoking room” in common parlance.
By no means anybody forces you to start smoking to make friends, but nobody hinders to come beforehand, listening to people, to join in interesting dialogue. One word at a time and you will have your circle of communication.
If you know how to communicate in casual situations, and there is so much friendliness that is enough for a couple more people, you can always try to start a dialogue:
- at the desk before/ during/after class.
- on the way to the classroom, the canteen, the bus stop.
- in front of the classroom while waiting for the teacher.
- in the canteen, during lunch.
A couple of phrases are enough to start a dialogue. If you and the person suit each other, then communication flows by itself, like a mountain river.
The second most popular place for new acquaintances is the dormitory. Whether you like it or not, you have to communicate, otherwise, you won’t survive.
But the age of information technology is rapidly moving forward, and now social networks (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) are taking center stage. Find a newcomer who has the same interests as you or just seems pleasant to you in communication and arrange to meet together and visit couples.
And if you are approached by a newcomer who wants to learn something new, you can shine with your knowledge, having previously scouted information on the Internet. The university website and social networks will help you!
What do the experts and teachers advise?
- Do not be shy to stand out. A note of craziness and style “not like the rest” is in fashion now. The main thing is not to overdo it.
- Experimentation is encouraged. Perhaps the gray loner is the brightest personality, do not be afraid to start a conversation with him. These are the people who use the mask of unfriendliness, and sometimes anger, to hide their shyness and bashfulness. At first, you can play with images, for example, to become a kind of James Bond, who without fear and shyness is ready to start a conversation with any person. Even if it does not work, after a day it will not be remembered, but if it works, then you will have a plus sign in the column “New friends”.
- Always say “Yes!” to activities together. Going to a coffee shop to get to know each other? “Yes!” Going to the theater together? “Sure!” A simple walk in the park? “A thousand times yes!” You can get to know your fellow students better at such gatherings, and sometimes even seniors who want to get to know their heirs. Plus, these events are sure to stick in your memory.
- Prepare a little story about your favorite person. One way or another, you will be asked questions about yourself, and it is advisable to be prepared for this. The main thing is not to say too much, the spiciest and interesting details leave for more personal meetings.
- Many people like to talk about themselves – give them the opportunity. Ask leading questions, take an interest in their life, but not too active and assertive, and do not get into too deep. Interests, opinions on various topics, expectations, and plans are the best way to start conversations.